MAINTAINING POSITIVE CONNECTIONS

Those who are politically and philosophically minded, can become argumentative at times and then sever relationships with people, whether acquaintances, friends, potential friends, lovers, family, etc. Of the steps to take, continue reading and learning more about your subjects of interest. It is also highly recommended to read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People as it provides an introductory approach to dealing with people, lessening conflict, and handling difficult situations of communication. It is not the only book out there for this, but it is one of the best. 

Learn to adjust your anger and calm your tongue. I have struggled with this at various times of my life, I have destroyed friendships and argued with strangers, I have had social media debates, I have gone through it all. The best thing I have learned in the end is that people can and will disagree, they may carry themselves rather poorly even if you are being extremely diplomatic. Realize that they have their weaknesses just like we do, and they are just as human as we. The more often we respond in anger, we are creating a neurological habit for ourselves that is difficult to overcome. This causes us to learn to be justified in our anger and make every excuse as to why it is okay, even when it is not. 

Instead, we should do everything we can to be both realistic and understanding. We do not need to give excuses for others’ poor behavior, but we surely can control our own. We will win by having more friends than enemies, not by bending on our position, but by learning to agree to disagree. If we make enemies with people based on our ideas, philosophy, economics, history, or whatever, those that become our foes will also resent our messages even more sternly. 

Lastly, just as important as it is to not have heated arguments with those outside of our beliefs, it is also most beneficial not to have internal quarrels with others that do share our beliefs in front of those that do not. The outsider will not feel welcome to be involved if they, for instance, see Minarchists and AnCaps fighting. Not everything needs to be argued, a point to be made, thoughts resisted, or a system being bucked at every given point. Like neurosurgeons, it may take time, patience, and skill to be able to change the minds of those around us. Your first test subjects should be those closest to you. If you are unable to change any of the minds around you, it may be something you can work on. This is not to say that all minds need to be changed, rather it is most practical to be able to change the minds of those that already know you and like you.

• Personal responsibility and self-control are both essential and primary.
• Pursue ways to establish and maintain healthy relationships.
• Learn to agree to disagree and to be fine with that.
• Not every mental battle will be won, but with more people on your side it is easier to win the war of minds.·
• Attack ideas, not people. Ideas are changed through communication with people.
• It is better to not anthropomorphize ideas, rather spread Liberty through the world of ideas to attack the monstrous idea that is Statism.
• You cannot change everyone’s mind, and that is okay.
• Heated arguments tend to hurt more than help, and people watching can be put off by it.
• Learn to realize when it is an appropriate time to debate, challenge, or question. Not every moment is appropriate.